I have very few Pet Peeves, but one of them is “BLAME”.
I see it every day, and it’s never productive. Instead, it’s counter-productive.
That’s true whether it’s in the family, in business, in churches, in politics, in sports, or anywhere for that matter.
I see the way it plays out everyday, between my kids, my employees, vendors, suppliers, customers, and nothing ever good comes from it.
- Blame is an indictment, and hardly ever towards finding a resolution, and/or solutions.
- Blame is usually an a attack on someone’s character or integrity.
- Blame doesn’t acknowledge or accept responsibility.
- Blame wastes time and resources that could/should be used towards solutions and resolutions.
- Blame is an easy way out, for those assigning it and accepting it.
- Blame is destructive to relationships and organizations.
- Blame usually attacks someone’s weaknesses without allowing them to grow in that area.
- Blame is pointless, unless you just want to make someone feel bad or guilty.
- Blame is an expense and liability as it moves the participants backwards instead of forward.
- Blame is used as a distraction from the accuser’s own responsibility
In case that’s not enough logic or common sense, Blame is not Biblical and void of the Hope of the Gospel.
I don’t say that to be preachy, but I added a “personal note” down below that addresses this aspect.
So what’s the alternative when bad things happen, or problems arise?
I believe it’s the same whether its personal, business, church, sports, etc.
- If/When I make mistakes, I want to own up to it, quick. This helps to diffuse a bad situation.
- Show others respect, even if/when they have done something wrong.
- Consider the “Big Picture” of any given situation. Please don’t mistake that with a common and distorted liberal view that the world would be a better place if we just all live in harmony. There IS a difference.
- Especially in business, don’t play the blame game in front of clients
- Outline what the issues are
- Be the first to take personal responsibility
- If you’re the boss, use it as an opportunity for training, not tearing down.
Many times in the process of looking for solutions to an issue, you will uncover how the initial mistake was made. Then it becomes easier to see and handle the situation objectively, and come up with long term solutions so it won’t happen again.
This post could go on forever and unpack all these different points, but I just wanted to put something out there and get a feel for how others see this topic.
This post started from a pet peeve, but as I look back on what I wrote, I realized some of the resources I have to help businesses and organizations develop thorough and thoughtful Standard Operating Procedures (SOP) for personnel operations and customer service are a great starting point to address these issues.
If you need help in these areas for your business or organization, let me know.
If this post resonates with you, share your thoughts
On a more personal note.
As a Christian, it’s my hope that my life (personally, publicly, and in business) reflects the Hope of the Gospel. Essentially what that means, is that I fully acknowledge I am not a perfect person. But I have been redeemed by Jesus Christ and forgiven of my sins and trespasses. And just as I have strengths and weaknesses, so do the people I come into contact with do. Rather than be in judgement of others, I can extend to others the grace and joy that I have as a result of what God has done for me.
Again, that does not make me a perfect person, but helps me keep in perspective the bigger picture of our lives.
Some would say that my religious beliefs have no part in a discussion like this, I would disagree.
If I believe something personally, and it’s not carried out through all of what I do, that belief is meaningless. I added this to conversation because it should and does have an impact on how I conduct myself, and plays a big part in how I’ve been able to see how destructive BLAME is, compared to handling tough situations with grace and respect of others.
As a husband, father, business owner and consultant I’m always confronted with tough situations. I don’t always handle them well, but my goal is to be quick to recognize those times and ask forgiveness for those times that I focus on blame and not solutions.
If you see me playing the “blame game”, call me out!
My only other BIG Pet Peeve is when people stand behind me, or look over my shoulder chomping on gum, chewing loudly, and opening loud wrappers. That just drives me crazy. My kids know this, but still do it! I love ’em anyway!